I saw my buddy Mac the other day and noticed that he had two black eyes.
I said “Mac, how'd you get those black eyes?"
He said, “I was on an escalator the other day, and noticed that the lady in front of me had her skirt stuck up her butt crack. I reached up and pulled it out for her, and she whacked me in the eye."
I said "OK, but how did you get the other black eye?"
He said, “I figured she wanted that way so I put it back."